Matthew Aboulafia, L-CSW

 
 

 

 

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Matthew Aboulafia, L-CSW

Treatment for Depression and Anxiety

When feelings of suffocating sadness, sudden panic or other debilitating sensations are making it impossible to lead a happy, healthy and normal life, powerful and effective help is not out of reach. Matthew Aboulafia, L-CSW is standing by with experienced treatment for depression and anxiety that can help you conquer these problems once and for all. Whether you're in serious need of eating disorder counseling, family and couples therapy or general depression anxiety treatment, Matthew Aboulafia can help. Please take a few moments to explore this Web site for more details on the services he offers, including anxiety treatment after motor vehicle accident and the most therapeutic marriage counseling New York can offer. You can reach his offices by phone at 212-682-3382. In the meantime, please continue your tour of matthewaboulafia.com by reading our articles and exploring the various resources on this site.

Psychotherapy / the Route to Greater Life Fulfillment

Many wonder how talking about your feelings can free you of the your issues and improve your life. Talking is certainly at the heart of treatment but it is much more than just talking with the doctor sits quietly and on occasion ask a question or gives some advice. It is, given your seeing a well trained therapist, a very systematic technique specifically designed to rid you of anxiety, mood swings, depressive bouts, insomnia, eating disorders symptoms... Also, without which the symptom relief would not be possible, treatment must increase your self esteem/confidence, success with love, friendship, marriage, and with attaining your career aspirations; The route to this end, because of the nature of our psychology, though is hidden and can not be discovered without the trained eye of an expert clinician. Only they can reveal the path to the necessary insights which will ensure the needed life change. But why a trained eye? Why can't we just cure ourselves? Why can't we discover all the necessary insights and become, on our own, free of whatever stresses us?

To understand the process of change and why it is hard to discover it on our own, we must first understand how our minds work: The most important notion concerns how, curiously, our minds are smarter than we are ... That is, our minds, as a mechanism, are reacting and organizing our sensational world faster than we are consciously aware. For instance, when we speak there is no need to think of every word we are going to utter. What we have is a notion, an idea, and from it the words appear. They just stream from our mouths. The feeling of thirst becomes - "Can I trouble you for a glass of water?" In a millisecond our minds, with wonderful speed and efficiency, brings forward what we need to say or do. Remarkable and crucial to our existence, our minds reflexively do all the work. Interestingly, this fast almost magical ability, to have an idea "I'm thirsty" and from it words and an action appear, is the same reflexive operation that is at root of why we may find life too stressful, anxiety provoking, lacking meaning or with little hope.

Lets us now examine a salient example which will give us a precise look into the workings of our psychologically and, if not addressed, our potential for life long emotional issues. In the 1960s movie theaters used a special form of advertising to sell popcorn and soda. It was called "subliminal advertising". The process was to put a message up on the movie screen faster than the blink of an eye. So a phrase like "go buy popcorn - go buy soda " would be introduced at such a speed as to not be detected by the human eye. If ask "Did you see something?" the response would b e no. But, curiously, people would respond to it by getting up and going to buy popcorn or soda. Why would this happen? The answerer lies in how your brain is reflexive and can processes stimulus/ information faster than you are consciously aware... The images/words were presented and the audience members had a mental reflexive response which occurred without their even becoming conscious of it. The advertisers, through psychological research, knew the mind could be triggered this way. They new images could register without ones being aware that they were ever there. So, poof - a millisecond image and you became a puppet being triggered to act.

Because it tricked you to do something you didn't have any conscious control over, this form of advertising has become illegal. For our purposes though this is a wonderful example as it demonstrates just how our minds work; a mental trigger can happen so fast and yet cause us to feel and act without our even being aware there was a trigger. So, similar to when we speak where fleeting images / ideas come to us then the words appear from our mouths or actions are taken, did the images on the screen trigger us to act: They functioned like a part of our very own brains with its fleeting images (ideas) causing us to respond reflexively with an action.

So it may form words and take actions, that will help us function quickly and efficiently, the effective operation of the mind depends on its operating at a speed beyond and nearly beyond conscious awareness: After all if a car is hurling towards you don't want to think through all the necessary reactions to avoid it - you must react instantly. So, all day long images are fleeting though our minds at a very fast rate, some charged enough to cause us to act or speak, others not so charged, but all working to keep us alive and interacting with the world effectively. The issue though , just like the move screen advertising, is our reacting to what you don't see as much as what we do see. For example, a client might tell me they are not in a good mood today. I'll ask: them: "What's your sense of what prompted the mood.?" They may say: " I don't know - for know reason really". This is a perfect example of the action(speed) of the mind: They may believe there is no reason but there is a precise reason. They just did not see it because the trigger was fast and woven into the fabric of their usual thoughts: Hidden from view but potent on affect. Whenever there is a mood change or any emotional shift there is always a pattern, always a trigger, always.... . It is truly as certain as the laws of physics; for ever action there is an equal and opposite reaction. What is needed, the therapist's expert clinical eye which knows how behavior shifts from a trigger; the therapist is someone, you might say, who is trained to read between the lines of our dally thoughts and knows to ask just the right question so the trigger is revealed.

My job then is to help you see through the fabric of your dally thoughts and see where triggers set the mood, feelings, ineffective behavior, rolling. My job is to show you just how and where the trigger(s) occurred. Once this occurs you will discover something very powerful, choice: You are no longer simply a victim to the hidden thought, but have the ability, through awareness, to choose not just to react reflexively. You are no longer like the movie goer being tricked into acting as you now have knowledge as to where and when you are likely to have such feelings. If you could predict the future - know how and why you may react in certain situations - you're not simply going to be taken by it. You will develop, with the help of the therapist, strategies to contend with it. You will no longer be a victim of what you did not see ( what you would have reacted to subliminally) but will now have the option to be master of it and hence find greater control over your life and what you desire to achieve and experience.

For example, if we told the audience that the we get an urge to get up and by popcorn when the previews started they would have a chance to fight the impulse. They would have the feeling to get up but they would also have the notion that there was connection between the rolling of the previews and the impulse. They could then have some choice and not eat what they may not really want to eat. Or, take an action like making such advertising illegal... This or other strategies can be executed to empower the individual so they remain or gain control of their decision making processes.

Good psychotherapy is about finding greater awareness of where and how the triggers live and then a building of effective strategies. My job and expertise concerns helping you find this awareness to see what has been ruling your life and enabling you to become a master of your life not a victim of it; when you can see and hear what you are truly feeling on a subliminal level you will gain control over and have the option to develop strategies to contend with it. Whatever issue it is, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, marital issues, etc., I can guarantee you they are all related to what is going on sublimely. I can guarantee you will never master you life, never reach you full potential as long as you are unwittingly directed by what you can not see.

Sadly so many live their lives in the blind... So many only live part of their lives as they never challenge and free themselves of what keeps them locked into a dysfunctional way of managing their lives. So many just keep their mental blinders on, never discovering what their lives could have become if they were liberated from what they could not see and experience the strategies that would empower their lives. Choose to see, discover your potential to grow emotionally, don't cheat yourself by living in denial as it will rob you of the truth of your own empowerment and the vitality of your potential life experience for love and success.

Treatment issues:

Relationships, couples therapy, individual therapy,love, fitness, dieting, success, business, marriage,friendship,emotional growth, bereavement, depression, anxiety,happiness, love,anger,school,school phobia, dating, addictions, divorce, stress, confidence, self esteem, low self esteem, sleep problems, bringing meaning to ones life, substance abuse, school performance, parenting, eating disorders, mood disorders, family conflicts, bipolar disorders, mania, attention deficit, hyperactivity,single parent, alcoholism,, , , job jeopardy,panic disorders,phobias,sleep disorders, self worth, feelings of inadequacy, well being, confidence building,,marital issues...

Treatment modalities:

cognitive psychotherapy, psychological testing, parenting skills,adult psychotherapy,adolescent psychotherapy, child psychotherapy, behavioral psychotherapy, psychodynamic psychotherapy, executive couching...

 

51 East 42 Street Suite 1407

New York New York 10017

212  682  3382